I’ve been guilty of it too. Overtired, overstressed, worrying about stupid things that in the long run, and even in the short run, won’t even matter. I’ve come a long way in that department. I can honestly say I no longer sweat the small stuff. Maybe because I’ve been through some big stuff or that I’m older now, or maybe it’s just a combination of both. I see it every single day. And I’m writing about it now, in part to vent 🙂 and also to just tell you ladies to …CHILL!
I’m a mom. I was a stay at home mom for 11 years and also a full time working mom. I was married to a man who traveled all the time and was more concerned with keeping up the Jones’s” than I could handle. So for a time, I was “that” mom. Divorce followed and I became a full time working single mom. I finally felt like I could breathe again. Because I didn’t care about half the shit he cared about, and I was able to be a mom on my terms. Nobody judging me, telling me I wasn’t good enough, when I knew I was a great mom. My team. That’s what I called us, me and my 2 kids.
So what I see now I see through different eyes. Ladies, why does it always have to be your way? Do you think your husband or your children are that incompetent that they can’t make a decision on their own? Even if it’s not what you would prefer, what if it’s what they prefer? I’m telling you, your life would improve greatly if you let go of the reins a bit. Are you more worried about what other people will think if your kid wants to wear green shoes? Because they won’t, match? Who gives a shit? Seriously! I saw a woman in a discussion with her son, a teenager, about some cleats he wanted to get. They were on his feet, he liked them, said they felt good and that was it. Nope! Not for her. She was literally hounding him because apparently she didn’t like the color. I couldn’t take it, so me being me went over and asked her if she had to wear them. I got the stare for a minute, and she’s like “No.” “Do they fit? Does he like them? Well, yes. So you can either waste another half hour here or you can save some time and realize you got off easy. It’s a lot easier when they are old enough to make their own decisions isn’t it? And I saw it click. I proceeded to tell her I also have a teenage son, who just got his driver’s license. I said, “You know. I’m more concerned about him on the road than I am about what color his shoes are. I just want him to come home safe.” She smiled grabbed the shoes and said “thank you.”
I have many more examples, but I think you understand what I’m trying to get at. The reason we get so crazy is because we think we have to make every single decision. That we have to control every situation. Not only is it exhausting, it’s not even necessary. So I don’t. Not anymore. I let my kids make decisions and I’m here to guide them. It’s a running joke, a line I actually got from my baby sis, “Make good decisions!” I say that every time my kids get out of the car. To the point now that even their friends know it and say it! My children have rules, just like everyone else, and there are repercussions if that line is crossed. But they are never going to become responsible adults if you don’t allow them to have some. Let them become who they are supposed to be. My son is “growing out” his hair. Yup…told me he wasn’t going to cut it for awhile, and this kid has a head of hair I could only wish for. And know what? I don’t care! Have at it. Wear the headband that makes you look like a member of One Direction. (lol…he can actually pull that off). I remember coming home for a visit after a summer job with a braid in my hair that had beads and a little bell on the end. (My roommate was a hippie girl) And you know what my mom said? Nothing. Not a damn thing. She was so happy I was home.
Ladies…chill out!! Quit putting your kids in 10 different activities just because Sally does. Not only are you exhausted I guarantee your kid is too. Stop worrying what other people think. Their opinion does not matter! You know that right? Stop sweating the small stuff and making it such a big deal. You will be happier and so will your family. When mom is miserable everyone is. Love your kids. Be happy they are safe and happy and healthy. Guide them through life and marvel at this little person you created growing up and becoming who they want to be. Eventually it is going to be their life to live. If you want to take control of someone’s life let it be your own.
P.S. Want to know how I keep my shit together? Read my previous blog post “How Running keeps me Sane” Keep running!